The Accidental Streaker

True story. An acquaintance (whom I shall call X) was staying for a few days at a rather flash hotel in the city.

On the second day after his arrival he was apologetically asked by the hotel management if he would mind moving to another room due to some problem with a booking.

Being a helpful kind of chap, X happily agreed and, to his satisfaction, found that the new room was almost identical to the other room, apart from the fact that the layout was completely reversed. But this minor inconvenience certainly posed no problem to X who went about his day unperturbed and finished the evening with a drink or nineteen in the bar with his colleagues.

After the twenty-somethingth ale, X was feeling decidedly sleepy and wobbled his way back to his room. He donned his ‘night shirt’ (forgetting to add any ‘night pants’) and climbed into bed to catch some ZZZs.

Sometime in the night, however, he felt the urge of nature and fumbled his way in the dark across the room to the bathroom. As he entered the room, he noted (in a foggily surprised kind of way) that the bathroom was extremely well lit.

“Hmmph!” he thought. “They must have a very large electricity bill!” And that’s when he realised that he was not in the bathroom at all. Being momentarily confused by the reverse layout of the room, the poor chap had wandered half naked into the hotel hallway!

Just as this realisation was making its way into his still slightly befuddled brain, X heard something that no man devoid of underpants and standing in a brilliantly lit hallway in the middle of a swanky hotel wants to hear.

Click! The sound of his bedroom door snapping locked behind him!

You can imagine the poor man, trying to get his muddled neurones to come up with a feasible plan for getting out of this sticky situation with his reputation in tact (and his private bits kept…well…private). But the neurones were evidently in no state to be much help. They didn’t even suggest that X take off his T Shirt and use it as a loin cloth in order to maintain some modesty! Let alone provide him with some logical advice about getting someone else to phone Reception for him.

No. Instead they suggested he sneak down to Reception and get someone to give him another key to his room. They didn’t contemplate that, when the lift arrived, it would be jam-packed with shocked onlookers who were on their way down to dinner (apparently it turned out to be not the middle of the night at all – but rather only about 8.00 pm).

But anyway, eventually our poor hapless hero did indeed waddle embarrassedly into Reception with his T Shirt dragged down at the front (but unfortunately leaving his bare bottom exposed at the back) and was thankfully (and expediently, I’m sure) returned safe and sound to the privacy of his own room.

No doubt the other hotel patrons heaved a sigh of relief as the semi-naked man was quickly spirited away, but I’ll bet the security guys checking the CCT had a great laugh at the evening’s footage!

Moral of the story? Never place your trust in a bunch of paralytic neurones.

But perhaps more importantly, never forget your undies in public!