How to get to Deception Bay

Deception Bay. What a deliciously named place!

It makes you just want to go there and see all the naughty people getting up to all sorts of naughty things and being all clandestine and deceptive, doesn’t it?

I can just imagine people ducking furtively in and out of shops and alleyways, hiding behind bushes and peeping out between Venetian blinds (and that’s just to see if the postman’s been, imagine what it’s like when there’s a real scandal!)

But then again, maybe it’s just my slightly maladjusted mind and perhaps regular people don’t find anything amusing or interesting about the place at all. Perhaps they just look down their noses at the Deceptionites and say “fancy living in a place that isn’t even honest about its own name!”

Well anyway, when a friend recently inquired about directions to another friend’s home in Queensland’s ‘Sneakiest of All Cities’ I just couldn’t resist forwarding him the following advice:

Directions to Deception Bay
(please destroy this message after reading)

Travelling north from Whopper Inlet, deviate from the truth at Cheaters Gully Lane and continue, undetected, to Fibbers Rest.

Enjoy a great meal of Forked Tongue or Pork Pie at the infamous Trickery Tavern, then treat yourself to a Bare Faced lie down. Or why not experience the excitement of taking a Polygraph test? Vehemently deny the results and make sure to keep your poker face.

Try your hand at making up a few creative ‘terminological inexactitudes’, pull a few beers (or legs) or simply get economical with the truth at Paddy Pretext’s Pub. The nightlife attractions will have everyone going, and before you know it you will be separating fact from fiction (unlike the local postmistress!) A few calming ales will distort the facts nicely before you head back, oblivious to the truth, to your lodgings on Queensland’s best kept secret, Misconception Isle.

Next day, after a bath (that simply won’t wash), head up Denial Road and turn left (when no one is looking) at the first available alibi. When you pass Little White Lie Cottage make a slight deviation from the facts, but make sure to cover your tracks.

Finally, hide away at Cheaters Refuge until the coast is clear, making sure to watch out for the native ‘Liar’ Birds!

And don’t disappear in a smoke screen, will you?