A Mad Scrabble

According to my spouse I have recently been displaying some rather disturbing obsessive-compulsive behaviours. This coincided with the arrival of my new iPhone and the subsequent discovery of the ‘Scrabble’ app.

Having long been a fan of this word game (apart from the bit were you have to wait for someone else to get on with it and have their turn!) I was rather chuffed to avail myself of this infectious little piece of software.

And yes, maybe I have become a tad obsessive about it, whipping out the iPhone at every available opportunity to start or resume a game. But at least I’m not quite as keen as an acquaintance of mine who’s even been taking Scrabble to the loo with him. In his defence, he claims it to be a wonderful distraction (if you take my meaning) and he’s surprised proctologists the world over aren’t recommending this to their patients as a means of more happily enduring their ablutions. After all, he says, there’s nothing like a quick game of Scrabble first thing in the morning to get one’s brain (and a few other things) moving.

I’m not sure about all that, but I do concur that it’s quite an addictive little game. I also admit to having a somewhat weird relationship with the ‘little guy’. Yes, I know it’s not a real person but merely a program designed to digitally arrange letters with the best possible score. Still, I can’t stop my self from thinking it’s another human being I’m playing.

I find myself swearing at him or throwing up my hands in disbelief when he creates some word like ‘kiuqwazaxajii’ and gets away with it.

“What? Are you kidding?” I shout crankily when he places such unlikely concoctions on a Triple Letter and earns himself a squillion points. It’s very frustrating, and I’m not above telling him so. Nothing weird there, I say.

And quite often, as I am pondering my next word, I even start hurrying myself up.

“He’ll be annoyed that you’re taking so long,” I think, before reminding myself that there is no ‘he’ out there in cyberspace impatiently rapping his fingers on the board and grumbling things like, “Hurry it up will you, woman. I don’t have all day!”

But, after years of Scrabble playing with the spouse, it’s hard to let go of the notion that someone’s not rolling his eyes and constantly saying “A quick game’s a good game.” He (the spouse) once even tried to impose a ‘time limit’ on my ponderings – a rule that was, of course, abandoned whenever it was his turn!

Yes, at least my new cyber buddy has remarkable patience. I sometimes have hours between ‘goes’ and he says nothing. Not even a huffy, “Sheesh, about time!” He really is a perfect and patient gentleman, my lovely Mr Scrabble.

He doesn’t even play dirty (usually). In fact, he often gives me wonderful opportunities to outscore him by ‘leaving open’ a Triple Word and he never gets grumpy with me when I give him the occasional flogging. He just keeps on coming back for more.

That’s not to say I trust him completely. For example, whenever I ‘recall’ a high scoring letter (like Z) after finding my word is unacceptable or not worth a big enough score, I can’t help but thinks he ‘knows’ what I have and silently berate myself for letting my guard down. This is probably a hangover from my days of real-life Scrabble, when I would try very hard to not let the other player know what letters I had in my possession. (Yes, I am a tad competitive).

Well anyway, suffice to say I’m loving my Scrabble app. And now, if you’ll excuse me I’ll get back to my game. Silly Mr Scrabble has just left a nice little space for “Quartz” on a Triple Letter score.

Ha, come on in, sucker! He he.