Do the iPod Shuffle

I suspect there’s probably a very good reason why nobody close to me has previously bothered to avail me of an iPod. That reason may be that the fusing of my ears to a musical source that is not being heard by anyone else in the room (train, shop or street) could be fraught with danger and/or embarrassment.

But apparently this factor must have paled into insignificance against the prospect of being able to obtain one of these devices cheaply from Duty Free. Thus, the spouse (disguised as Santa) last Christmas handed over the little blue scrap of metal and plastic. Big mistake!

Now, I am sure this particular drama must regularly play out in homes all across the world. Unsuspecting iPod-givers swiftly begin to rue their purchase as its proud new owner jigs pathetically around the house blurting out misinterpreted lyrics and off-key riffs. So surely I am not the only such song-murderer.

Well anyway, the spouse has been remarkably tolerant. Despite a few withering looks as I rumba, Latino style through the loungeroom while some vintage Santana pumps through my eardrums, he has held his tongue. Presumably this is because he knows that he is to blame. If he wasn’t such a cheapskate, he wouldn’t have dived so quickly on the offer of a cheap iPod.

However, tonight the pain must have been too much. There I was sitting at my computer, iPod Shuffle firmly plugged in ear and secretly marvelling, I must admit, at my fabulous multi-tasking capacity – typing and singing all at once! With the Dixie Chicks’ rendition of “Landslide” playing in my ears, I simultaneously sang (brilliantly of course!) and checked my emails while the spouse watched telly in the adjoining room.

Suddenly, somewhere between seeing “my reflection in the snooow-covered hiiiills” and the landslide “bringing me dooown” I noticed a muffled noise. Assuming it was the dogs on the verandah, I glanced up to see what they were doing. No dogs, so back I went to verbally twanging out a few banjo bars and a little bit of “maaaaaybeeee!” But there it was again; the muffled noise; only louder this time. It quite startled me, in fact (although not enough to entice me to pull out the earplugs). I turned to the spouse to see if he, too, had heard the offending noise. Clearly he had.

“Will you SHUT UP!” he was yelling. At ME. I dragged the earplugs out and looked quizzically at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“You!” he shouted. “I can’t hear the TV with all that racket!”

“Well, you bought it for me!” I huffed, “Did you really think it would be possible for me to not sing along?”

He just rolled his eyes and turned the telly up a bit louder.

Well anyway, sadly I think it must be a dodgy iPod Shuffle, for it’s suddenly stopped allowing me to shuffle at all. Seems my iPod Shuffle has become my “I’ll Podding-well Shuffle If I Feel Like It Shuffle” (much to the relief of the spouse).

“Oh, what a shame,” he says almost genuinely. “Perhaps I’ll buy you another one NEXT Christmas.

Perhaps he’s disappointed that he won’t be hearing my melodious tones anytime soon.

Well, “maaaaaaybeeeeee!”

(Or…um… maybe not).